Dr. Quinn "Heroes"

The cringe is strong in this one.

Horace's nephew is visiting and ZOMG IT'S THE MEDICINE BLANKET EPISODE!  Colleen and her friends are reading the latest installment of some shitty romantic story in the paper.  

Maybe those young ladies are reading that smut for their own pleasure and don't really appreciate you lurking over them, Horace's nephew.

Sully rescues Colleen while she's dorking out in the middle of street.  From what little I heard of the story, I don't believe she'd be so enraptured as to not notice the runaway horses.

Is this love?  That I'm feelin.'  Is this love...that I've been looking for?

In the B plot, Hank is a racist asshole.

Hank claims Grace's food is tainted and she deliberately poisoned him.  All the white people tell Grace not to make it worse for herself.

Colleen takes Michaela's place at the reservation and watches a couple flirting under a medicine blanket.  

Colleen gets cold, Sully notices, and offers her his blanket.  She asks if they can "share it."

What could possibly go wrong?

Colleen asks Michaela if she "likes likes" Sully.  Michaela is her usual adorably awkward self about her attraction to Sully.  As in she's in complete denial.  Also, because she failed to read the room, she doesn't see how it stokes the fires residing in Colleen's lady parts.

No.  Nope.  Not interested.  Nope.  Really.  Nothing to see here.

Colleen uses Horace's nephew to deliver Sully a letter.  But as he's related to Horace he fails.

Walk away from her, Horace's nephew

Colleen's next poor decision is to act out the romance and go to an abandoned shed to wait for Sully to rescue her.  This is bullshit because up until now Colleen's been the most level headed of them all.

Great idea, jackass

A tree collapses on top of the shed, trapping her inside.  Sully finds her and takes her to the clinic.  Her hands are suffering from severe frostbite.

SULLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michaela reads the latest installment of the romance to Colleen, intercepts the letter for Sully, and gets hit with a clue by four:

Oh shit.  I have to go talk about sex.

She takes the letter to Sully and he says he should have seen it earlier.  Yes, yes you should've.

D'oh

Colleen asks Sully "could you still love a girl who...who wasn't perfect?"  GAH!  Sully is really fucking this up by not shutting this shit down.

You're the only one for me, you're all I need, and I'll never, ever let you go...

Back to the B plot.  Robert E. finally kicks Hank's ass.  Horace's nephew discovers Hank has trichinosis from some raw meat not from Grace.  Hank goes to apologize but doesn't at all.

I'm wrong but I'm not going to admit it.

Grace is the better person here and just continues on with her day, business as usual.  I don't know how she can stand to be around any of these people.

Yes, I'm laughing at you.

Michaela tells Colleen that Sully doesn't love her.  Sully hears the entire exchange.

This isn't embarrassing at all.

Sully tells Colleen that he doesn't love her.  Colleen runs away.  Me, I would have kept running.  But Colleen collapses into a tree and insists that she doesn't want anyone else.  That he's her hero.

STAHP

Okay as horrible as this is, I can kind of see where she is coming from.  In that small of a town you can have this:

He has a name, I just never bothered to learn it.

Or this:

Hello there

But now, she has nothing.  Crumpling her romance to her heaving bosom, she cries into the day.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

But suddenly everything is fine?  The show cuts to the whole family having dinner with Sully like nothing just happened.  Okay.  Colleen excuses her self to go over to Horace's nephew and mounts him right there on the table.  Damn!

Lifting that skirt for some action

And post coital, gazes wistfully at what she will never have...

A+