The Enterprise responds to the science ship Yosemite, whose crew is missing. Barclay comes up with a plan to link the transporter systems. Unfortunately for him, La Forge thinks this is a stellar idea and rewards him with an away mission. Turns out Barclay has a severe transporter phobia.
Okay just hold on here folks. How come nobody knows this? He's been on this ship going on four seasons now! This is news? Look I understand wanting to hide something like this but on a fairly intimate ship it would be difficult to do so.
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| This isn't relevant to the plot but look how Picard is all over Crusher's jock. Damn! |
O'Brien explains to the away team that it's going to take longer than usual to go through the transporter and Barclay becomes increasingly anxious as each crew member transports. How come his doctor doesn't know? Crusher FAIL. She's standing right there and doesn't pick up that he's having a panic attack?
No one is taking him seriously. He steps on the pad and then refuses to go through with it. Which lands him in Troi's office to discuss his phobia. Troi wants to know why he kept it a secret. Barclay's all duh, my career would be over. Troi says she doubts that. Really? Based on all the ways you guys have treated him like shit it is perfectly reasonable to believe he'd be jettisoned from the nearest airlock.
Apparently he's avoided the transporter his entire life which I find incredibly hard to believe that you could get through Starfleet Academy without ever using a transporter. Troi wants him to start "plexing" which is tapping the back of the ear. Raise your hand if you actually tried this as a relaxation technique after the show first aired.
Barclay tappy taps and decides to face his fears rather than sit and listen to Troi one second longer. He asks O'Brien to send him over to the Yosemite and O'Brien tries to relate by telling him his own spider scary story where he crawled into a Jeffries tube and blah blah no one cares O'Brien.
Wait a minute. So no trying gradual exposure here, like having Barclay hang out in the transporter room and getting used to having the feelings he's having. No graduating to stepping on and off the pad and acknowledging those feelings and letting them subside. No eventually transporting him to his quarters or some other familiar place. No, let's just stick him through a rough transport and he'll get over it. That's...I...oh Star Trek...
Barclay makes it through the transporter unscathed but on the return trip he sees this:
And it bites him:
The crew is scrambling to figure out what caused the explosion on the Yosemite. They've found one dead crew member that sort of reanimated (yeah) and all of the data they've retrieved isn't making sense.
Barclay argues with La Forge and O'Brien during a transporter diagnostic, bringing up every possible thing that could go wrong. La Forge and O'Brien tell him to STFU and stop thinking about air plane crashes all day (which is what this is all really about.) Barclay googles Transporter Psychosis and starts exhibiting all of the symptoms as one does when one self diagnoses using a computer. His arm is pulsating blue, but is it all in his mind? (Spoiler: It isn't.)
Data becomes concerned with Barclay's behavior and asks about Barclay to La Forge, who passes the buck to Troi. So when Data is the one who notices that there is something off with you, it shows just how far other people are willing to ignore your suffering if they just don't like you. If you make them feel uncomfortable just by existing.
Troi catches up to Barclay and tells him La Forge thought that he seemed nervous. Barclay: "I'm always nervous, everybody knows that!" You've got one job on this ship Troi. She relieves him of duty and he is far politer about it than I would have been. He tries to meditate. He tries the tappy tap. His pulsing blue arm comes back.
Barclay orders O'Brien to run him through the transporter because he has to know if there's something in there. And there is. He wakes the senior staff to inform them and Troi is all "why did you wait so long to file a police report? Why were you wearing a short skirt on the transporter pad?" Stab.
When Picard takes Barclay seriously, when Picard believes him, I didn't cry, but I probably should've. The crew attempts to recreate the sequence of events that led to the explosion (because that's always a good idea) and after their own contained explosion, they find Reg on the ground, all blue. Barclay's got microbes inside him and the only way to get them out is to hold him in the transporter for a long time. This guy can't catch a break.
Barclay figures out that the giant creepy maggot in the transporter is actually a missing scientist from the ship and rescues him, then directs Worf to rescue the others. Worf's totally fine with this and doesn't question it, which is refreshing and inconsistent. Once again Barclay has saved the day but will anyone treat him better next episode?
What? Barclay's moment of triumph is celebrating with O'Brien? Seriously did the cast just really want the day off? What's in the box? O'Brien brings a tarantula to the bar. And leaves Barclay to babysit it. Wow. This is supposed to be funny? This episode is done with itself.
C
What's funniest to me is that transporter phobia must be a fairly common thing, when you think about how many people are anxious about flying. Troi and Crusher should be more aware of this, since their only job on this show is to be nurturers.
ReplyDeleteAnd how come only Picaresque can be both professional and empathetic. Goddamn it people, I thought we were enlightened.
I've always identified more with the male characters on the show, which is one of many of the show's problems. I'm sure I'll go into that more. Also, I agree with you on the transporter phobia. Me, I'd probably use it. But so many people would not. You'd think in their enlightened society they would have available treatment to handle this issue, with little to no stigma attached.
DeleteMy auto-correct has invented a new word. :(
ReplyDeleteI will incorporate it. Watch for it.
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